HomeMilitary NewsDo you hate money? Spend $1000s on these stupid military-themed designer clothes

Have you recently experienced the undeniable itch to once more saunter about in combat boots but your old pairs are simply damaged beyond repair? For those inexplicably pining for that coyote-colored footwear, Versace has you covered.

The fashion giant, renowned for being both expensive and Italian, unveiled the Greca Rhegis combat boots this summer alongside a paltry price tag of $1,215. By carrying a cost about 10 times more than a standard-issue pair, customers can reminisce about those six deployments over a span of eight years while simultaneously celebrating a longstanding commitment to monetary mismanagement.

Money well spent, we say, especially since the desert boot, much like the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, does not appear to be going out of style any time soon.

And while a sense of satisfaction is sure to wash over you as you slide your dog tag into the laces of your new Versaces, don’t stop there — not when you can equip an entire outfit with luxury militarized clothing for the measly cost of a new car.

There’s no better way to make your boots really pop than by pairing them with American designer Ralph Lauren’s $3,495 Wool-Cashmere Peacoat, which, when worn, can transform even a water treatment specialist into Commodore Matthew Perry.

With the highest collar in the history of clothing, you’ll be guaranteed protection from those strong winter winds as well as the waves of insults from the fashion illiterati.

“You just don’t get it!” you scream at your spouse after being berated about dipping into your child’s education fund to cover the cost of a peacoat. “It’s Ralph Lauren!”